TenYearsOld

When I was in fifth grade my teacher Mrs. Walsh gave me an F on a paper. I never did homework ever again. 

SamsonIsTheNewBlack

They say that Samson lost all his sex appeal when he cut his hair off. I hope that I didn't lose my magic power over women.

N.W.A.

Most people want to die in their sleep when they are old. I would rather die in a unarmed gun battle with the police.

WelcomeToTheJungle

I spend most of the days thinking. I spend the rest of those days not doing much about it. 

LadyInRed

I divulge. It was I, with the candlestick, in the Library. 

FoughtForTheSouth

At this very moment I realized that I have been alive for the last 200 years. 

WhatIsGoingOn

"Who are they to judge us? Simply 'cause our hair long." 

Help

I was going to write a blog yesterday about how I procrastinate but I didn't get around to it until today. 

OneHundredAndNineteen

Happy Birthday! 

Thanks for all your help.

TimeOnMyHands

I went to sleep feeling young again but woke up feeling thirty years older.

BlowingInTheWind

Ralph Waldo Emmerson once said that it's “not in his goals but in his transitions is man great”. I believe that great men are the ones who realize that you have to be mean to girls in order for them to like you.

FourTwenty

I live on a mountain and am a professional homeless man. What have you done lately?

Sunday is supposedly Earth Day which is the same day as Hitler's Birthday. Any one else see the irony?